The Kindergarten Teacher

This is about the time when my son joined Nursery, the first year of kindergarten. We were supposed to attend the Orientation session after which we went to meet the class teacher. Ms Sandhya welcomed us. She briefed us about the academic and co curricular activities of the year. After finishing up she happened to mention "Please don't expect the tiffin boxes to be finished in this first month of school. I can't force kids to eat especially in the initial few days." This thing stayed with me. It wasn't just about what she said. It was about how she said it. The tenderness in her voice while she said it hit different. 

On the first 3 days of school we were supposed to sit in the nearby classroom till the kids finished school. That time was used to brief parents about school activities. There were various talks by the nursery coordinator, school counselor and special educators. When kids' dispersal started, mam was calling out names of the kids so that parents can come forward and take them. A parent wasn't present. She called out again "The parent isn't here?" I heard the same tenderness and concern in her voice again. I picked up my son. He seemed happy. Mam told me that he was comfortable in class and didn't cry even once. 

Two weeks later I got a note in the school diary. "Mam, I need to see you. It's urgent." I went to see her next day. "Your son doesn't talk to us. We haven't heard his voice."

I came home and cried that day. I go to school to drop him and pick him up everyday. Every "Show and Tell" activity day she would tell me. "He didn't speak anything mam. We really tried but he didn't utter a word." I cried so many days in those first two months. I was caught in a repeated cycle of spiralling emotions. First I would cry, then dismiss my pain, then I would cry again and get angry why I cried. Then again I would cry and then scold myself. "You need to be stronger." But then I gave in. I am a mother. It's scary for any mother if the kindergarten teacher says these things. Of course I got scared. Of course I cried. So I thought I should embrace my fears instead of forcing myself to be brave. I was worried because he was talking less to me too. But the question was "Whom should I ask about it? Who will give me genuine advice without taking advantage of our vulnerability? Whom can I trust?" I didn't feel like taking recommendations from anyone. I did my own research online. I found a therapist whose reviews stated "He is an honest person who takes good empathetic care of kids." I didn't think any further. I went to see him and had the speech assessment done. It turned out things are fine. He just needs a bit more language stimulation. Sir refused to do his speech therapy sessions. He told me "You are a caring and capable mother. I will hand over my plan to you. You do it yourself. We will track his progress." And that was it. I applied everything he told me to. I learnt some things myself and applied that too. At the end of 3 months, he told me "You are a strong and disciplined mother. The progress your kid has shown in 3 months, other kids take an year to achieve." That meant so much to me. His words came as such a big relief. "Crying days are over I guess", I said to myself.

Soon I attended a meeting with the nursery team in school where I communicated everything to them. Ms Sandhya assured me she would help him to open up more in the classroom. She told me about her plan and told me what I can do at home to support her.  She was very worried. I assured her he is fine with me. A talkative, naughty and active kid. So we decided we should give him more time to open up in the classroom. Next few months I kept meeting her every few days. I always admired her genuine concern for my son and the way she communicated. She would make him sit on her lap to talk to him. She said she is very particular that he should communicate properly. She gave him a lot of care and attention. 

During pick up times sometimes I would see her in different dispersal rooms (not for her class kids). I used to see her hugging kids, making them smile, teaching them something, showering them with love and affection. I used to think she doesn't have to do this. These kids are not her responsibility. I thought she has completely immersed herself in taking care of kids. She couldn't differentiate where her responsibilities lie and where not. And that, I have come to respect a lot.

Sometimes she would talk about the kids in her class, what challenges they are facing and what she does to help them. The way she talked made me feel she pours herself in her class kids. At one point she told me " I am thrilled to see my kids progress." I feel people like her don't just do a job. They live a fulfilled life while on the job. It made me respect her so much. 

Once, while in doubt she told me "I don't know mam. I am just a teacher." That pained me in a strange way. She is not "just" a teacher. She is a guide, a mentor, a happiness booster, a prompt problem detector and much more to the kids. A guiding light in true sense. Her strong and alert presence must have benefitted so many children throughout the years. I really wanted her to respect herself more. I used to wonder being a kindergarten teacher can be so hard and unforgiving. It takes a lot to take good care of young children. And these children will not remember it. I thought I should take care of this.

A good teacher in a quiet corner of a classroom can define lives. I and Ms Sandhya kept working together and brought my son out of a tricky situation. Soon he couldn't stop himself telling her all the stories on his mind. She laughed and told me he can't stop talking now! For true progress of children somewhere down the line a teacher has to become a parent and a parent has to become a teacher. And she and I did it together. 

The school year was ending. One day I was sitting in our community garden and somehow I started feeling sad. My son saw me, came to me and said, "What happened mom? Never be sad." 

I asked him "Who told you to say that to me - Mam?"

He being my honest boy told me " Yes, mam said"

The last meeting was difficult. She had tears in her eyes and I had tears in mine. I don't know what she saw in me but what I saw in her was her pure, selfless love for kids. It's not easy to find a good wise person to help you in your hard times. She saw me and my son in a very low phase and she did everything in her power to take us out of it. I can never thank her enough. Her grace, care and attention for my son comforted me so much. And she did with a smile and a glow on her face. We will always love her. I had written two letters. I wrote about how grateful I have been to have her around. I promised her my son won't forget her contributions in his early development. The other letter I kept with me so that I don't forget what I have promised her. I have to keep my promise to her. We will always love her.